>Power of prayer

>I’ve been feeling a burden recently that my prayer life has gone downnnn the drain and I just can’t let that happen..it’s like not talking to your best friend…The distance I feel towards God is because I haven’t told him about what’s going on with me or told him how I’m doing..

Was reminded of the importance through this sweet girls story.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate
My prayers are nothing compared to the prayers of this family!!
Time for me to use prayer as a way of relationship while lifting up kingdom worthy things…like a little life.

>Keep on trucking

>recently I’ve been feeling like I’m just kinda living..one day to the next I’m not sure its cause I’m not crazy busy like I usually am or if being on break and the laziness that comes with that has taken over. I’ve been really checked out with my relationship with God besides occasional prayers..and this isn’t OK! Cause I need God more then ever in my life..my one CONSTANT thing that will never change! It’s funny how God can remind you of how you’ve neglected Him..my wake up call was from a facebook status…are we surprised??? Hehe

“We must understand that Satan can work through anyone, even those who are close to us. That is why it is dangerous to expect too much of the people around us. When we expect them never to hurt us, we set ourselves up for disappointment. They are flesh and blood, just as we are. We have to realize that they are going to fail just as we do. Therefore, put your trust not in people but in Jesus.”

this really hit home for me because I put alot of trust and value into people and often I predict how friendships are going to turn out or if this person has my back or not and this quote really puts me back in check! No matter who it is that I lean on for strength or look too for encouragement they WILL let me down. Gods approval of me will never change and He always has my best intrest at heart…
SO thank you God
I pray that you would continue to pull my heart closer and closer to yours so that I can’t be swayed! Please Lord capture my heart again with you awesome GRACE and LOVE my worth and approval is found in YOU. Remind me of that and don’t let other distractions come into my heart.
I love you!!

>CHRISTMAS EVE!!

>Good morning! It’s a rainy cold day today…woke up wanting to see snow! maybe later:)
Dear God,
Thank you for today. The day before you sent your son to save us! Thank you that you are always here with us..and that you sent your son to us in such a precious way! I pray that this day would be a very special one for me. I pray that you would remind me every second of your love for me and what you have done for me! Thank you for loving me!
I love you too!
Amen!

>Quotes..

>I love quotes that make you think, remember, feel and hope!

Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Even when that truth is hard and cold, and more painful than you’ve ever imagined. And even when truth is more cruel than any lie.

Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.
Zechariah 9:12

“You’ve got a face for a smile, ya know.”

Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world…or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives. For better…or worse.

My Dearest Allie. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah

So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.

Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face, but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul.

“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.”
Psalm 39:7

“Because to forget you, would be to forget the best part of me.”

>Thankful!

>I am very thankful tonight..while things have been a rollercoaster recently I am thankful. I am thankful that God has given me a new peace in my life that even though I don’t always think things are going according to plan they are going to fit in perfectly with His! Thank you Lord! We had our staff Christmas party a few nights ago at the Haskins and it was so wonderful to be with all the families and eveyone on staff! Such a reminder to whitney and I as to what Godly families should look like and that God must be the center of those. Also seeing how deep relationships go when God is in them and when His hand is there…My family got back from a little surprise trip to South Lake town square..we stayed at the Hilton and did alot alot alot of shopping for Christmas presents! Had to think twice about who all I needed to buy for!…So thankful for loving parents who think up fun things to do with the family!

It’s hard to always trust God with things going on in life but one thing that isn’t hard is being thankful and recognizing what we have!

>"Blue Christmas without you?"

>My Dad often does sermons on having a “blue Christmas” or he speaks on how many times Christmas memories are painful for some because Christmas reminds them of the ones they have lost in their lives…and in a way this year I have lost two of my best friends..and I say this openly on this blog because there is only a handful of people who read this. Mr. Gamble, being one of my most unique friends went to be with the Lord and I will miss him so so much but I KNOW he is home for Christmas and I REJOICE in his home going! God has been so FAITHFUL through Mr. Gambles passing and I have grown more as a christian in one week than I have in a VERY long time. The other friend that I have lost isn’t from a death but from a closing of a relationship. Really getting closure from Sterling, and knowing that our time as boyfriend and girlfriend has ended has caused pain but also has been exactly what is needed for me at this point in my life. Sterling feels that the Lord might be calling him to move on and in that process I will eventually lose a best friend. I know this sounds like I’m terribly sad & while yes much of this hasn’t been easy to deal with especially the longing to tell Mr. Gamble all about it but God has been FAITHFUL and he WILL ALWAYS be.
My challenge for myself this Christmas is to really focus on what I have…the gifts I have and how I can put them in action to glorify God. God has given me gifts that can not be found under a tree..so why should I ignore those for materialistic things???? How about I recognize this Christmas the gifts GOD has given me and see how I can use them for his glory this next year??!! What a meaningful Christmas this could be for me…
And another challenge I have for myself is to take these pains and these longings of lose of friendships and channel all that energy towards SEARCHING for a friendship in God. Finding that the truest meaning of Christmas can be found in our hearts all year round…
A present that started in Bethlehem and ended with blood shed on Calvary. A present of LIFE. ETERNAL LIFE with our Lord JESUS CHRIST! What a Christmas this will be if God becomes my everything…Lord I put all my trust in you..I do not lean on my own understandings!

>Mr. Gamble has gone to be with the Lord…I miss you already

>One of my best friends Mr. Gamble has gone to be with Jesus. I’ve never lost anyone this close to me before and it is a strange feeling….A feeling of happiness and peace that he isn’t hurting but also a feeling of sadness because I miss him and I won’t be able to see him anymore…
When someone dies I guess it really shakes the world around them..the world they leave behind. Mr. Gamble was one of my best friends and memories with him will not fade fast..I wonder if God lets people in heaven know when they are being missed. I kinda hope he does because then Mr. Gamble will know how much I miss him..I already miss him so much! I know he is so happy now and he is running around in heaven seeing all his old friends and his love of his life. I can’t be selfish and wish I had more time with him because in the end he was hurting so much but oh how I’ll miss him! It’s a weird feeling knowing someone is gone….but I’ll see you again Mr. Gamble and I can’t wait till then! I love you so much!

“Fly to Jesus and live.”

><3

>Yesterday was a really hard day for me. Lots of different reasons as to why but it just wasn’t a good day. Today has been a little bit better. I’m just struggling and it seems that’s what this blog has become…a boohoo fest for me ha ha and I hope it won’t always be that way but in college it just seems to be more relative. I could go on on and on about my situation and where Ive gotten myself and how I got here but the main thing I want to find is how do I get out? How can I forgive myself…accept what I have done..understand the feelings of others and move on. Move on to live better. Last night at Vertical I was really hopeing for a break through..something that could just make everything back to how it was and honestly I was hopeing God would tell me what I need to do next. As we sang songs I tried so hard to listen to the words and mean them as I was singing but i was so distracted and detached. I hate that feeling the most, the feeling of detachment, distance, I hate feeling distance from God the most. And last night as we sang I surrender all I just couldn’t sing it. i could not bring myself to sing those words, so i as i am standing there BAWLING (are we surprised) I’m sure the guy next to me was like what the…but the reason I couldn’t say that is because I’m still holding on to this one part of my life that I love so so much. I want everything to work out so badly that I cant let go and trust God. I KNOW I should but I can not let go. I’ve asked for many people to pray for me because I think things are about to get really hard but GOD WILL HELP ME! I know he will I just have to take the leap and know that’s Gods story is so much bigger then my own. I really am going to try and dive into His word and learn more and more so that I can be MORE and MORE of a light for him! Darkness in my own life just cause others to not see a glimpse of hope…so all of this darkness in my life..all of these places that are so hidden and I just cant seem to figure out what is going to happen next I have to give it up and give it to the Lord.
So Lord right now you know my heart. You know my love for you and my love for others, God I pray that you would hold my hand forever and help me through this hard time. God do not push those away that I love but let them KNOW how much I love them and that even though my actions didn’t show it, you have placed them in my heart forever. God please give me peace today that you have a plan for my life! A plan that I can’t see right now but let me know it is there! Hold my hand and guide me as I struggle to hear and see you more! Oh Lord please come back into my heart and into my life so I can be more and more like you! Bless my family and friends
I love you